(Editor's Note: This piece was written during the very first week of Enjoy Every Sandwich, on Friday August 29, 2003. So why is it here on the Sandwich Shop? Because it as a more innocent time, and I was far too stupid to figure out permalinks back then, that's why!
Anyhow, here it is, reprinted with no editing - spelling and grammar mistakes and all - for your dining and dancing pleasure.
-skippystalin, Monday December 26, 2005)
Rolling around the blogsphere, you'll find a general consensus that the war against drugs has failed and should be abdanonded. The same is true, to a lesser extent about gambling. But if you want to get really controversial, bring up prostitution. That will set off all kinds of otherwise well-intentioned and thoughtful people. This is because most people are blind, PC sheep.
I've actually thought about this for a while but couldn't find an excuse to write about it until I came across this article. It appears that the Greater Atlanta Area has a small problem with "massage parlours". I'll fix that problem in a minute. I'm good at stuff like that. First, I'll present my argument.
Most hackeysacking potheads and online poker junkies will tell you that their activities ultimately affect no one other than themselves. And this is true. Every word of it, and this is the ultimate backdrop of libertarian thinking. Social libertarians view all human activities through a very simple prism: "Who gives a fuck?" If your hobbies affect no one other than yourself, who gives a fuck? This is a perfectly logical line of thought.
Or it would be. It isn't because most "social libertarians" have a secret Mommy complex, be it liberal or conservative that prevent them from fully following their own doctrine. Once you actually explore some of these retards arguments, they hedge. You'll hear things like "Well, I'm not advocating the legalisation of cocaine or heroin." Oh really? Why the fuck not? How is it that putting one substance in your body is more socially acceptable to you than another? Because that second substance is "bad for you?" My shooting up affects you in precisely the same way that you're smoking pot effects me. It doesn't. But junkies are unsightly and will affect your property values if they end up in your neighbourhood.The same is true of "libertarian" gambling advocates. The same people who will stand on their "right" to play online poker or piss away a zillion dollars at a casino on an Indian reservation are usually the first people to oppose slots in bars or wide open casino gambling. Why? Because cheap gambling attracts rednecks and welfare queens. And rednecks and welfare queens are unsightly and will affect your property values if they end up in your neighbourhood.
So most "libertarians" are intellectually dishonest. Their interest in "freedom" begins and ends with THEIR preferred hobbies. If YOUR hobbies are deigned to be "icky" to them, they'll outlaw them faster than Fallwell.And this brings us to prostitution. To me, this seems like the ultimate "who gives a fuck" issue.
Some guys will buy a woman a house to put his dick inside her. Others will buy them a $ 4,000,000.00 ring to continue putting their dicks inside them after they are indicted for raping a hotel worker in Eagle County, Colorado. Still others like to economize and will give a massusse a "tip" for a "happy ending". Who gives a fuck?
But then these "libertarian" ideas enter the realm of the most vicious form of politics imaginable, sexual politics.
Sexual politics are as insidious as they are inbred. There is no such thing as "wiggle room" there. It's the ultimate bloodsport. And the indoctrination is unbelievable. All logic goes right out the window. I've had this debate with otherwise thoughtful people and they get completely irrational.The most liberal people I've ever met go to the right of Ashcroft on this issue (and remember, Ashcroft doesn't even believe in dancing). They can bring up the issue that many women are forced into prostitution and when you respond that white slavery, forcible confinement and assault are all already illegal, they respond with "well, it's just wrong. It's a moral issue." This overlooks that libertarianism is inherently amoral in the area of people's personal activities.
I'm not entirely sure, but I think it has a lot to do with a herd mentality. Maybe these feminist fascists and the pussified men who love them feel that so long as ANY woman is allowed to market her sexuality ALL women will be expected to.
Of course, this is nonsense and I think if these people were halfway honest with themselves they would admit it. If you look around, you'll find it not at all unusual to find people who will passionately defend abortion and euthinasia, which many well meaning people view as murder, go ballistic at the very idea of legalised prostitution.To such people, sexual politics goes much deeper than personal politics. Thus, "freedom's just another word."
From a law enforcement perspective, the argument against freedom is much easier to understand. Cops have "bust quotas". They have to arrest so many people every month. And raiding a massage parlour or a strip joint is much easier than doing something crazy, like solving a murder or stopping armed robberies. Somebody can get hurt doing those things. It's not hard to understand, we've all had jobs where we routinely cut corners. Why should cops be any different? Remember that the next time you read an article about homicide clearence rates in your hometown. Then think of the resources put into stopping something that is nobody's business.
So far as Atlanta's problem goes, I promised a solution and here it is. Legalise brothels and use the zoning laws to isolate the areas in which they operate. Pretty simple, huh? It would eliminate street prostitution tomorrow and raise the tax revenue to educate children into being healthy human beings who don't need whores in the first place. Everybody wins! Of course, it will never happen.
I'm not even sure why I give a shit, anyway. Without a job I can't afford pot, heroin, a hand of poker or a handjob.